Our summer in the USA: the video version

Click here to check it out (thanks to Russia's "RuTube" site which doesn't mind me using audio tracks)

Catching up (at last) on the summer

SO much to write about, so little time to do it. (In fact, I started this post 2 weeks ago.) Andrew is the superior writer and better suited to the task of catching up on the blog, but he's sworn that he'd not write another word until I get things rolling again.

Off I go -

Our summer trip back to the states far exceeded our expectations in almost every respect. Certainly I expected that it'd be wonderful to be "home" again, but in fact it was MORE than wonderful. The ocean-spanning plane trips were uneventful, thanks in large part to the fact that both kids will actually watch TV now; our accommodations were comfortable - even in those places where we all slept in the same room; and the weather was gloriously sunny and hot - VERY hot.

Our first stop on the fun-filled American Adventure was Maplewood, NJ where Martin and Jen, the parents of Sadie's good friend Zellie, graciously opened their beautiful South Orange home to our overtired and jet-lagged selves. It is no small task taking on a family of four for five days, particularly when 2 of those are toddlers content to wake up at 2:30 am ready to start the day. Sadie and Parker truly enjoyed their time there, wreaking havoc on little Zellie's toy room, and reacquainting themselves with the suburban life. By the end of our time there Sadie had (almost) gotten over her fear of squirrels and dirt, though she still harbors a deep suspicion of cats, dogs, bees, sheep, and inexplicably, waves. Andrew worked from NY and Boston while we were in the NY area and I spent our time dragging the kids all over NJ catching up with good friends and former (and future) neighbors.

Despite my fear that Sadie's newly acquired car-sickness would "dampen" our experience traveling down the NJ turnpike, we nonetheless rented a car to get to Andrew's parents' house in DC. Owing once again to the power of Mickey Mouse and the iPad, the drive was without incident. Again, the weather was blazingly hot and sunny and we spent our days at the playground, the Building Museum, the Cleveland Park Pool and the best community pool ever - that in Peter and Jes's neighborhood Mt. Rainier. It was so great to be amongst

the warmth of family and the kids were in heaven with Meme, Pepe, Aunt Jes, Uncle Peter (for a very brief half-day) but especially with their cousins, Jasper and Josie.

One highlight of our trip back home was a four-day jaunt to the beautiful, scenic, private community at Scientist Cliffs, MD. Jessica somehow managed to secure a rustic 3-bedroom cabin on the cliffside of the Chesapeake Bay, with stunning views and a precipitous drop off to the beach below. Between the five adults and Jasper, who we paid 25 cents for every 15 minutes of "Parker duty", we managed to keep Parker alive, with only a few bloody incidents. And for the first time, Sadie and Josie really played together, (unfortunately to the exclusion of Parker and Jasper), so much so that I barely had any contact with Sadie for the four days that we were there. Well, except for the time she locked herself in one of the bedrooms and Andrew had to scale the side of the house to rescue her.

We've never been the type of people to stay in one place for very long. Next stop: Buffalo!

My Dad picked us up at the airport and (after a quick dinner at that great American standard, Cracker Barrel) took us back to his own little corner of paradise in Lewiston, NY; which as far as I'm concerned is basically in Canada. I refer to it as paradise with no tongue in my cheek, it has all the attributes for a relaxing vacation. Big spacious rooms, comfortable beds, jacuzzi tub, in-house chef (Dad), free babysitting services(Dad and Diana), heated outdoor swimming pool, a playroom stocked with generations of toys, and Sadie's favorite part: Dora the Explorer DVDs. The day after our arrival we hosted the Fifth Annual Blersch Wingfest - a gluttonous affair with copious amounts Buffalo wings (as the name implies), beer, and pizza.

Our week in Buffalo/Niagara Falls included a trip to my Aunt and Uncle's farm to "ride" the horses, (oh yeah, Sadie and Parker are terrified of horses too); the Carousel Museum (not afraid of those horses, thankfully); Olcott Beach -- a wonderful toddler-friendly amusement park; Niagara Falls; Fort Niagara; lots of time spent with Dave, Stacey, cousin Emma and the newest addition to the Blersch clan, Audrey; and visits with the family matriarch, GiGi (my 91 year old Grandmother).

I am SO thankful to have had this time back home. It is as if I harvested all the love and support from my friends and family to renew my energy for another year (or two!) in London. But more so than that, we realised that WE MADE IT through 2 of the most difficult years possible with young kids. Sadie and Parker were so well-behaved and incredibly fun to travel with: so much so that when we made it back to London, after one failed attempt to leave Buffalo which sent us back to Dad's for two extra days, we took off again for a family vacation, just the four of us, up to Derbyshire, England.

Winding down on Year One

We are headed back to the US for a bit (a week each in NJ, DC and Buffalo) as we approach the one year anniversary of our move accross the pond. We're excited to see everyone, and to experience a bit of "real" summer (perhaps a little too real, it's been well over 100 degrees in NY the last few days).

We've been in a decent groove the past few weeks... activities have included our first garden party (which was a total rain-out but was good fun anyway), Sadie's 'graduation' from school, my (low-key) birthday,  a few excursions out of town such as to Hatfield House (pictured, below, with Henry Moore statue and human imiatator), some cultural activites such as the First Prom concert and War Horse, and plenty of the usual trips to playgrounds, ballet, etc.

One highlight has been Sadie's reaching of the age of 3 and the nearly simultaneous lifting of her terrible two-ness... both Karen and I have noticed a dramatic decrease in tantrums and increase in helpfulness and aggreability! Just as Parker has shown signs of a move int he reverse direction, although he's just too good natured a kid (so far at least) to really be called a terrible anything.

For me, work has been good but busy... and frankly I'm ready for a break.

Comings and goings

It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks, with 42 Eton Avenue being quite the crossroads lately. After returning from Kazakhstan for the weekend I turned around and hit the road again for a few days in Europe. Before I had made it back, my mom had arrived for a 5-day visit; Karen had hopped a flight back to to Buffalo (via Toronto) for a long weekend with her nieces (one of whom is shiny and new); and our friend Martin from South Orange had spend the night on our sofa. Around the time I got back, my dad also arrived. In an apparently unrelated development, Andrea the nanny fell ill. Chaos! The only constants throughout were Sadie & Parker, who took most of the changes in stride, although they were a little more clingy towards me than usual. It was tough for them to be away from Karen for so long... whenever I mentioned her name, Parker would start howling.

But they were happy to spend time with Meme and Pepe, and we were blessed with a warm summery weekend, which meant a long walk around Hampstead Heath, a trip to the Parliament Hill paddling pool and picnic with Adam & Lucy, visiting Gillian from Boston. And thanks to the grandparents I even got some welcome pub time with Adam down at The Washington, the neighborhood watering hole. 

Parents flew to Athens this morning, and Karen flew in this afternoon (after what sounds like a great trip but miserable return journey)... and life is slowly returning to normal, at least for a few weeks. 

On the road: Kazakhstan

I'm writing this on a long flight from Astana back to London (via Moscow) so this one is a little long, read on at your own risk....

Although Borat helped to make Kazkahstan a household word, the movie didn't do much for knowledge about the actual country... as such, not many people have much of idea where the place is (although it's not hard to find on a map, the country is very large), much less anything about what is there. But that's forgivable: Kaz is landlocked, far from any population centers, bordered by tall mountains and politically unstable/repressive countries. And flying over it for a couple of hours now, I can say that there is not a whole lot there. Lots of flat, arid, open plain (steppe). I can see a few dots down there, maybe they're camels.

This is not an easy country to get to from London. Only one airline flies there direct (BMI), and only three times a week, using a small plane that needs to stop in Moscow to refuel. On Monday afternoon I boarded this flight and touched down in the capital of Almaty in the early hours on Tuesday morning (8 hours travel plus 6 hours time difference). As we approached, the first rosy touches of dawn were appearing over the massive, snow-peaked Tian Shan mountains overlooking Almaty. A beautiful sight.

This was my first visit to Kazakhstan in over 15 years, and it felt like a sort of homecoming... this was where I had my first "real" job, in 1993. Having gone to Moscow as an English teacher after I finished college in late 1992, I managed to get hired by Deloitte & Touche Moscow as a "management consultant". I write this in quotes because as a comparative literature major I didn't know th first thing about management, or consulting, or business, although I did speak Russian reasonably well. But my employer wasn't too concerned about what I knew or didn't know: they paid me a local Russian salary ($300/month) and imediately charged me out as an expat specialist ($1000/day). By the time anyone figured out I was clueless they'd have made a lot of money off of me. At that time, all the consulting firms were swamped with projects from the World Bank and USAID to help the post-Soviet countries set up market economies. Two days after I started, with not much explanation I was sent down to join a project in Kazakhstan to help the government sell off small state-owned businesses to the private sector.

I remember my first arrival into Almaty well, because the managing partner in Moscow had given me $10,000 in cash to bring down to the project manager in Almaty (at the time bank transfers didn't really work). I was scared stiff that someone would steal this money from me, which would mean the failure of my first assignment and the demise of my budding career. For some reason, the Aeroflot flight I took that day didn't go directly to Almaty as it was supposed to, but instead made an unscheduled stop in another small city (Karaganda). The plane landed, slowed to a halt and everyone was asked to get out of the plane on the tarmac without further explanation. People got out and milled around on the runway, smoking and chatting casually. It was a mixed crowd of Kazakhs, mostly older men with leathery skin, and a few Russians; needless to say no foreigners. The old Tupelev just sat there on the runway; it was the only plane in sight, the airport was deserted. No one seemed particulalry surprised or concerned about the delay, but I was very anxious that someone would walk up to me, grab my briefcase and walk away. No one seemed to be paying attention to me, but I could not help feeling that my bag was glowing red and flashing "this American has lots of cash". After about an hour we filed back into the plane, which took off and arrived in Almaty a few hours later. At that point, I was able to relax: a driver was waiting for me on arrival with my name on a panel, making me feel quite important. I arrived at the office and dutifully delivered the stack of cash to my manager.

That delivery of cash was probably my most important contribution to Kazakhstan's privatization program. Over the next 6 months I travelled to a number of cities accross Kazakhstan (as I mentioned, it's a big country), did a lot of interpreting for visiting consultants from various countries, helped set up regional offices, spent time getting to know staff and local government workers, took hours of leisurely lunches and dinners, drank quite a bit of vodka, and was introduced to Kazakh culture and customs. But at no time was it clear to me, nor I think to my bosses, what we were suposed to be doing there. The idea was that we were to help facilitate the sale of various businesses -- barber shops and grocery stores -- to local entrepreneurs. The problem was that, after 80 years of communism, there weren't any local entrepreneurs, and anyone looking to become one was unlikely to have money or expertise. In any case, the local political elite (all former community party leaders), who seemed to find our presence amusing if slighly annoying, had long ago decided to lay claim to the assets for themselves and their friends.

Not that any of that mattered for me, it was all good fun. Over that time, I saw some remarkable scenery, from jagged snowy mountaintops to windswept steppe to the sandy beaches of the Caspian. I improved my Russian, learned a little Kazakh, and made some great friends, both expats -- such as Dennis, my friend now in Sedona, Arizona -- and locals. My best Kazakh buddy from that period was Beibit, who also worked as a consultant for Deloitte and like me was just starting his career. Like many Kazakhs, Beibit was quiet and softspoken guy, but he was indispensable for us: he spoke reasonable English and knew the lay of the land. Of our team of five (1 Kazakh, 3 Russians and me) the expat bosses treated me as the authority figure as I was an American, but over time it became clear that it was Beibit who got anything done that needed to be done.

I had dinner with Beibit on Wednesday night, seeing him for the first time in all these years. In brief, he's done well for himself, and is something of a poster child for the path to success in post-Soviet Kazakhstan. After I left in 1994, he stayed with Deloitte and Touch and eventually made partner, then moved to a big local bank where he is now in top management. He's involved in a dizzying array of business ventures across Central Asia (including his own citrus plantation and juice company) and is even investing in Florida real estate.

Like Beibit, Kazakhstan is doing pretty well these days. They've got a lot of oil (a lot) plus heaps of gold, uranium and other natural resources. Almaty is far more prosperous than I remember it (fancy boutiques abound) but is still a charming, relatively low key city with lots of trees and great views of the mountains. After a couple of days I flew to Astana, the 15-year-old capital built in the middle of the steppe, which is a remarkable, crazy place: a smaller, Central Asian version of Dubai, mixed with a dose of Las Vegas. This is where the serious oil money is being spent. All kinds of wild audacious new architecture and over-the-top shopping malls (including one with an indoor beach). Fascinating, beautiful country... but a serious trek.

OK, running low on battery power... looking forward to getting home!

before and after...

Wiggled

OK I'm no rocker, but I've been to a few good shows in my time. U2, the Joshua Tree. Sting, Dream of the Blue Turtles. David Bowie, the Glass Spider (what was that??). To that must now be added, topping the list, Wiggles: 20th anniversary tour. The Hammersmith Apollo rocked and rocked... although it's amazing to me, now that I don't get out as much, just how young kids look at concerts these days...

3!

Our Sedona Rose turned 3 last week. Although this event may not have been met with the fanfare she had hoped for (party with all her friends; clowns; gifts including a cat and/or a goldfish), this was made up for by the trans-Atlantic visit of her grandmother Meme, as well large quantities of sugar-dosed cupcakes made by her mom.

We all celebrated this event with gusto. The past year has brought many fantastic moments with Sadie: who is, to her father's completely unbiased eye, an incredibly bright, interesting, funny, verbal and charming little girl, not to mention a (mostly) caring and attentive sister to her little brother. But Sadie is also a handful, and we have had our fare share of "terrible two"-ness this year. It's a tough age for most kids, I know (thus the term)... but I think the combination of having a brother before reaching age 2 and then moving to a new country/environment before reaching age 3 has made this all a tougher phase for her. There is something about the transition from fully dependent baby to more independent child that is a real struggle for Sadie. Karen's theory, which makes sense to me, is that the birth of Parker forced her to grow up faster than she was willing to do, and many of her emotional struggles seem to revolve around her fighting a rearguard battle to claim back her lost baby-ness... resulting in lots of tears along the way. (If that sounds rather psychoanalytical, chalk it up to our living a few blocks from the Freud's London home.) In any case, we're hoping that this year brings a bit of emotional settling for her.

My mom's other reason for coming to London was a "granny nanny" visit (her term) to allow Karen and me to take a weekend trip to France for my business school reunion in Fontainebleau, France.  We took the Eurostar and drove a further hour south to spend a decadent weekend of fine dining, sleeping in a real live chateau/hotel, a black tie ball in a mega chateau (Chateau de Fontainebleau) and a morning in Paris before hopping the train back on Sunday afternoon. It was a delightful weekend. I was a bit disappointed that not more of my better friends from INSEAD actually made it to the reunion, but Karen & I certainly enjoyed getting decked out for a serious night of Euro-glamour.

A royal time

It's probably a sign that we're settling in that I am not writing as much these days. Our lives have fallen enough of a pattern that there's not a whole lot new to report over the last few weeks. This is a good thing. We've have enough change over the past few years, and for now are happy enough for "more of the same".

Which is not to say nothing is going on. Will and Kate, for starters. Given the avalanche of inquiries we've had about the royal nuptials from people back home, it would seem that this was more of an overseas media event than a life-changing experience for most Britons. People (including me) were happy enough to have the extra day off, and Karen and I witnessed quite a few drunken street celebrations which seemed to generate a bit of goodwill towards the Windsors. Most Brits that I know seem to view the Royal family as a quaint, slightly absurd institution that is good for light entertainment but not much more. This is about right, but it was hard not to be impressed by the pageantry on display at the wedding... which was also a great brochure for the splendour of English choral music.

No, we weren't at Westminster that day, or at Harry's after-party, and Karen didn't get to wear a Princess Beatrice-style hat. Instead, we watched the event on HD over at Joe and Olya's in comfort, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Other highlights of recent times have included a great visit from Frank and Linda Karen's FFPIL (former-future-parents-in-law) from Westfield NJ -- now great friends of all of us We had a good fun hanging out at our usual neighborhood haunts (mostly playgrounds) as well as going out to see a great play at our local Hampstead Theatre about the Soviet space program, "Little Eagles".  A trip to the Whipsnade zoo north of London with Tina, Tom, Romilly and Theo. Karen & I also continue to enjoy our Wednesday "date nite" - when Andrea works late -- and have in recent weeks enjoyed the St. John Passion sung by King's College chapel choir; a debate between the Archbishop of Canterbury and philosopher AG Grayling about humanism; a steak by the Thames river out at Canary Wharf; and a few trips out to Camden.   

Weather is still holding up pretty well, lots of sunshine although the temperatures don't tend to get much above the mid-60s. Kids are lots of work, lots of fun, and... lots of work. But healthy and, much of the time, happy!

Portuguese Easter

With Easter upon us -- a period stacked full of holidays in the UK ('bank holidays' as they're called, fitting name given my job) -- we hopped aboard a low-cost airline and flew south to Portugal for a few days (here's the full photo shoot).

This was the second spring beach vacation taken by our Howell family-of-4. The first, a trip to Puerto Rico last February, worked pretty well -- thanks in part to having Karen's mom along to help with the young'uns. This time we were without grandmotherly support... true, the kids are a bit older, and the hotel offered a morning drop-in nursery. Nevertheless, Karen and I were nervous: would we survive?? I am glad to report that despite some hitches (Karen lost her purse for a couple of days, and the kids were indeed a handful throughout), spring break #2 can be pronounced a success. 

I can't deny that I am still mourning vacations "as they used to be" -- the kind where we could read a whole book by the pool, or finish a bottle of wine over a lazy lunch. With 2-under-3 in tow it's a jungle out there... but an energizing, fun jungle. We made a good choice in destination, the Algarve coast in southern Portugal, about a 2-hour flight from London. The Sheraton Pine Cliffs, a 30 minute drive from Faro Airport, was large and luxurious but not over-the-top, and I thought very well designed. A pristine beach, multiple swimming pools, restaurants galore were all there, as were various kid-oriented activities. As for the weather, despite the shock of arriving to rain and cooler temperatures than we had been experiencing in sultry London, the weather during our stay turned out to be great. Clear, sunny mornings and occasional afternoon thunderstorms; low humidity; temperatures peaking in the mid-70s. Think San Diego or Santa Fe. I can definitely imagine going back there. 

The kids seemed to enjoy the change of scenery despite some early complaints from Sadie ("I want to go back to Eton Avenue" -- apparently "I want to go home" is too ambiguous). The hardest part for them was the disruption of the usual routine, less sleep than normal and the resulting crankiness. This is mostly on Sadie's part; she turns 3 in a month, and we keep reminding her that her "terrible twos" are supposed to be abating any day now, but we only get occasional glimpses of the placid times that allegedly await us. As for Parker, he's pretty even keeled and lots of fun, if you can keep up with him. 

Nice time of the year

Springtime continues to deliver some wonderful weather to London in 2011. Even at the height of summer, the English climate is not usually one for shorts and sandals -- a cool breeze tends to keep it too brisk for that -- but the last few weeks have brought a prolonged blast of sunny, mild, even balmy weather. So that pair of shorts that I brought over from New Jersey have been getting some good use.

A highlight of the vernal season so far was a visit to Kew Gardens last weekend. A luxurious set of botanical gardens on the west side of London, these are also surprisingly easy to get from our place, thanks to the shiny new London Overground (new line that will be transit hub during next summer's Olympics).  We met up with our friends from Sadie's ballet class, Sophie and her parents Hunter and Jenny, and had a picnic by the newly-budding azaleas. Nice.

Otherwise we've been chugging along. Some sicknesses here and there (Karen with a feverish achey joint crud, Sadie with a cold, Parker with diaper rash and me with a quick 1-day bug) but nothing too prolonged and generally we feel a lot healthier than we did last fall. Sadie is currently on spring break from school which is keeping Karen and Andrea particularly busy, especially since Sadie's back in a phase of hard-core terrible two defiance (always gets worse when she's sick). I've been traveling a bit (3 days in US, where I got to see my family in DC which was great; and a day in Zurich). 

The exterior work on our house continues, and although we managed to negotiate a modest rent reduction out of it we're still pretty pissed off at the situation. Hoping we at least get some of the warmer weather without spending it with a bunch of Polish workers over coffee and cigarettes (which they spend a lot more time consuming than they do working on the house).

Channel crossing

One of the clear benefits to moving to London was always supposed to be proximity to continental Europe, the chance to survey the great cities of the old world, so many of which are a quick flight or even train ride away. The reality, of course, is that getting the kids out the door to the neighborhood playground is difficult enough; we simply have not gotten ourselves organized enough to pack everyone up for a weekend journey, especially to somewhere involving a passport.

Now, with the weather improving, and our routine getting a bit more established, we finally hopped aboard the Eurostar this weekend, for our first European weekend getaway. We went to Brussels, a mere 2 hours from St. Pancras station (which is stunning), to visit our friends the De Bonis, who we last saw back in October. And it was a fabulous time, replete with a visit to old Brussels, a modern dance concert (parents only), a feast of real Belgian frites, lots of hanging out time in the De Boni's great house and neighborhood. Sadie and Parker continued to get to know the different De Boni kids, with especially Sadie and Artiemy starting to hit it off (at moments!).

Traveling with these two still ain't easy. Although the train ride was 'only' two hours, it was an exhausting two hours of restraining/distracting/chasing Parker. I'm hoping that for our next such trip in a few months time Parker will be a tad less antsy (wishful thinking!) He also has trouble sleeping in new places and the first night was involved precious little sleep for Parker, Karen or myself. So we're all pretty knackered, but it was worth it!

Spring is springing

London may not have the same seasonal variety that we're used to back home, but the coming of spring is still a great time here. Daffodils are blooming, temperatures are creeping up and -- most welcome of all -- the days are starting to lengthen again. Suddenly I find myself walking to work, and returning home, in daylight. A zombie no more.

As I sat down to write this Karen just asked me, "What are you going to write about? Nothing's been happening". She has a point in that there's nothing too dramatic to report. But there's plenty going on. On the positive side, we've all been healthy. OK, Parker is somewhat roughed up having smacked his head on various occasions (under my watch) last weekend, but this is basically him being Parker, the perpetual motion machine.

Sadie is a handful these days, lots of fun but very strong willed, progressing well in potty training (with the occasional accident) and continuing to enjoy her nursery school. She is also happy with her reward for shedding her diapers: a purple scooter. It looks like we have sorted out her school for the fall -- I'll let Karen report on that.  

Generally we're all continuing to sleep much better in 2011 than we did in 2010. A major hurdle was crossed last weekend when we moved Sadie into Parker's room (now renamed the kids' room, with a 'princess bed' for Sadie). Although the move was a failure the first night (they both refused to sleep), by night 2 they had settled down and ever since the arrangement seems to be working well. They both seem to like sleeping in the same room, and now chat to eachother after waking up rather than howling for attention from us. There is some evidence (e.g. the bouts of obstinacy mentioned above) that Sadie needs more sleep than Parker.. we'll continue to monitor how it goes. On the positive side, we have our bedroom back.

Only one major negative headline, which is that with no warning some workers arrived one day and started assembling scaffolding around our house. It turns out the house exterior is being fixed up for the next few months, during which time we will be overrun with workers and lose use of our backyard -- probably for a significant portion of the brief summer. Serious bummer. We've bitched and moaned to the landlord and may get a small rebate on the rent, but we're still annoyed. Finger's crossed they meet the deadline of being done by late May -- or at least get close!

Nursery nightmare.

I've just visited the third nursery school in search of a replacement for the soon-to-be-closed Belsize Square Synagogue. As many of you are aware (are there "many of you" out there?) Sadie has been receiving an educational foundation in Judaism since we moved to Swiss Cottage. We've generally been pretty happy with the nursery school there; and Sadie seems to be eager to go there every morning. The board of governors for the synagogue notified all parents at the end of February that as of September 2011, the nursery would be shut down permanently. No explanation given. Just pack up your kid and go somewhere else. Easier said than done.

At home I would have taken this in stride....disappointed at yet another disruption in poor little Sadie's routine, but willing to make the effort to place her elsewhere. However, in London children are placed on the waiting list for the best nursery school at roughly the same time the umbilical cord is cut. So the nursery closure at this "late date" has put me in the position where I've had to scramble to call every nursery within a 1 mile radius, (for I refuse to schlep these two kids on the bus during rush hour every morning so that Sadie can glue macaroni to a plate), schedule visits, ask intelligent questions ("How does your nursery meet with the government requirements under the 'Early Years Foundation Stage' for children under 5?"), and generally plead and beg nursery directors for understanding of my predicament in this most unjust situation we've been placed in and could they please, please just grant us a space on their waiting list. Oh yeah, and here's the 50 quid I need to pay you for the privilege of applying.

The one I visited this morning exemplifies how outrageous the education system is here. This nursery is the Taj Majal of nurseries. In fact I think there may have been a 5 foot replica made of legos tucked away in the corner. It's housed in a newly-renovated abandoned church (and having suffered through a church service on Sunday for choir, this seems to me to be a better use for the Church of England). When I arrived at 8:45 there were no fewer than 7 "educators" setting up the room for the day in a chaotic frenzy of activity: right at the entrance was an educational display about Japan, tsunamis, and earthquakes - replete with a globe and an internet-ready laptop; in one corner a water table with floating tugboats, steamships, sailboats, dinghies, possibly even a replica of the Titanic; in another corner a child-sized kitchen with food, dishes, ironing board, dolls, costumes; suspended from the ceiling were stars and a working display of the solar system; but WAIT - LOOK OVER THERE! - car racing; a shaving-cream covered table; play-doh; easels with paint; blocksartsuppliesbookscrayonsmarkerschalkboardsstuffedanimals...and outside an elaborate bubble-making display...and upstairs a dance studio and next to it a reading nook with big fluffy pillows and sleeping mats. Phew! Frankly, I didn't want to leave. The lucky kid going there for the day was going to have FUN!

The negatives: 1) it costs about three times as much as any other nursery I've been to thus far - as well it should given the teacher-to-student ratio and the abundant supplies; 2) the school day is from 9 until 2 - quite a long day for a three year old, especially one so committed to taking her nap (God love her); 3) they don't accept children under three years old, so Parker wouldn't enjoy the benefit of going to school with Sadie, at least while we're here in London; 4) it's a bit farther than some of the other nurseries we've seen. OK, admittedly that's not a great excuse but it rains here a LOT and Parker refuses to use the rain guard on the stroller.

The positives: 1)FUN!FUN!FUN!FUN!FUN! 2) a clean, bright environment in an otherwise often-dreary city; 3) Sadie has two friends - one from ballet, and one from her current nursery, that will be attending there in the fall.

And I don't know if this is a positive or a negative, but I'm sure the people who send their kids there are the super elite of London who spend thousands of pounds on their 3-year-olds birthday parties and make hand-rolled sushi for playdates. (My apologies to Zsofi, if ever you're reading this - I know you had no choice. The pressure to measure up is unbearable.)

We do have another option, thankfully. A lovely little Montessori School around the corner from the synagogue has space for Sadie, starting in May, for three mornings a week, and two afternoons if we want them - which I don't (again, the nap...always a slave to the nap). And then in September she'll be a priority on their list for five mornings per week. They don't have a replica of the Taj Majal, but with the money we save on sending her there instead, we can go visit the real thing!

Back on the road

A few words about my 3-day trip last week to Nigeria, where I visited the commercial capital Lagos -- a sprawling, chaotic, dirty, noisy and wonderfully energetic city of 10m or so (feels like more) -- as well as the somewhat-more-refined political capital Abuja. This was my first work-related trip to Sub Saharan Africa (outside of South Africa) and was certainly the most intense "third world" city experience I have had. From the moment I, bleary-eyed at 6am, stepped out of the sealed environment of BA business class into the crumbling corridors of Murtala Muhammed airport, it was clear that my time inLagos would not be dull. The city assaults you (figuratively, sometimes literally!). People are everywhere, in a combination of frenetic motion and stillness (lots of people just hanging around) and everywhere surrounded by derelict infrastructure. I am told that most recent decent railroad in Africa north of Johannesburg is the east African line built by the British in 1910; as this indicates, it's been a long time since much was invested in Africa, and the city, bustling as it is, projects an aura of long-term neglect. 

My visit started off with a complication when the car I had ordered was not waiting for me, and of course there was no taxi stand where I could pick up a ride into down (indeed I saw no evidence of a taxi fleet in Lagos, although I there were a few taxis in Abuja). Here is an easy test for whether a country is truly an 'emerging market' or not; if a traveller flies into the airport for the first time, can he or she easily and safely get from the airport to a hotel? By this test Nigeria clearly qualifies as emerging. Standing at the airport entrance with a befuddled look on my face, I was clearly the white guy who didn't have a ride and quickly attracted attention of many peddlers. Fortunately my phone worked, so I ignored an increasingly vocal group of would-be chauffeurs and managed to contact my hotel and to track down the driver, who was in fact at the airport but was, they said, unable to drive up to the pick-up point. Reason unclear. I was directed me to wheel my luggage self-assuredly past the teeming crowds, through a gate, down an airport access road against traffic until I eventually got to another gate where my guy was indeed waiting, having a relaxed smoke with some other drivers.

Said driver greeted me, finished his cigarette and drove me into town at breakneck speed through the morning rushhour in a symphonic performance of horn honking, shouting and fist shaking that is doubtless very common in that part of the world, filled with swerves, sudden stops, and countless close calls (measured in centimeters). For me, the most harrowing aspect of driving in Lagos was actually how close the speeding drivers came to hordes of pedestrians walking along the road -- most of whom are simply trying to cross the street -- where a mistake of a few inches would mean a lost limb or worse. Somehow the game of brinkmanship always manages to resolve itself without harm to anyone.

I made it to my hotel, the Federal Palace -- said to be the best in Nigeria and up to the standard of a mid-market Marriott Courtyard (but at $350 a night!) -- and eventually met up with a few colleagues with whom I spent the next couple of days meeting companies (mostly banks -- but also a sugar refinery, 2 photos from this below) in Lagos. We then flew to Abuja where I spent a day seeing some government agencies and as well as the IMF. It was fascinating. Despite all of Nigeria's very visible problems I came back feeling optimistic about the place. I met enough smart, articulate, hard working Nigerians that seem committed to making the country work that I did have the sense there is a shot at making some real headway against Nigeria's historical problems (corruption, underinvestment, political turmoil). There are so many 'easy wins', like building a few power stations so the entire country does not need to rely upon diesel generators. Politics are probably most important, and given the turmoil in North Africa nowadays, as well as in countries even closer to Nigeria like Ivory Coast it is hard to make predictions with much confidence. However if Nigeria's April elections go reasonably well, the next few years could be an exciting time for the country. 

My final hours in Nigeria were a bit of a reality check against getting too optimistic. Battling through traffic in Abuja my driver took some creative short cuts (driving on dirt makeshift dirt roads parallel to the highway for miles) and at one point was ambushed by a 'policeman' (at least someone wearing a policeman-like uniform) who literally jumped in front of the car and then called his buddies over. Before I knew it several uniformed guys were standing around our car, another was sitting in the passenger seat; a few had large-looking guns. A prolonged negotiation ensued, during which my driver got surprisingly animated in making his case for innocence, seemingly unintimidated by the guns and at one point appearing to have won over at least one of the 'policemen'. After 30 minutes of this, I was starting to wonder both whether I would miss my flight and whether I might be in some danger. However at no point did anyone acknowledge my presence, much less threaten me, and in the end after 40 minutes of negotiations we were released, my driver having given up his driver's license, which he told me he would reclaim later that day for a 2000 naira fine ($15). I made my fight, and in the end it felt like a happy ending. 

London Museums: The Movie

Producer's note: no children were harmed in the production of this movie.

Scoot

A pretty good couple of weeks round here. Major milestone was Sadie's accomplishment of a goal that has been four months in the making: getting potty trained at last (more or less). A whole week of dry pants got her a much-anticipated purple scooter that she has started to use a little inside, although she's still a little reluctant to use it outside.

Her reaction to achieving her promised reward has been beaming pride, mixed with moments of hesitation. The night after she got the scooter she woke up crying in the middle of the night, sobbing "take the scooter back, I don't want it anymore". She never explained why she said that, and had changed her mind by morning, but my interpretation was that she is finding the process of growing up to be a little stressful at times.

All in all, we've been quite busy. I had a fascinating but exhausting trip to Nigeria which I'll write about later. Karen has started medical classes which (I assume) she'll also write about. On the weekends, we have been sticking to our usual neighborhood routines like ballet as well as a couple of trips to museums (London Transport last week, British this week). We had dim sum with some ballet friends, Hunter, Jenny and Sophia -- and last night hosted our first dinner party with big Parker and some friends of his, Charlie and Shana (who live in the area and have a son little Parker's age).

Today we just got a bit of a curve ball with recent unwelcome news that Sadie's nursery is closing down after the summer. A part of life that we thought was settled has just become unsettled again. 

Drugs.

As part of the volunteer work I'm doing with Prisoner's Family and Friend Service, I had the opportunity to meet one of the only judges in England who's running a "drug court". The phrase makes it sound slightly more sordid than it is really. In short it's simply a diversionary court that deals solely with low-level criminal offenses that are motivated by drug addiction. Today I spent the day observing this court in action. The takeaway is that the Brits are far better at treating their "criminals" like human beings than Americans are. Judge Phillips made an effort to ensure that everyone who appeared before him received a hug before they were released back into the community. Most were also given a lecture on the impurities of street drugs nowadays, so why waste your time and money? I'm not sure how successful this approach is at keeping addicts on the straight and narrow. And the idea of any NJ judge hugging any of my former clients is truly laughable.


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Location:West London magistrates court

Posh weekend

Not much to add to Karen's post except to say that, yes, that was one great 24 hour getaway with my Valentine. The Four Seasons Hampshire is a posh weekend getaway about an hour from London, in a converted historic Georgian estate surrounded by gardens and with a great spa and restaurant. Not exactly a budget weekend, but worth it in the name of survival...

K & I took off after Sadie's ballet class on Saturday morning, taking the tube to Waterloo and a 45m train ride on to Fleet, a small town in the Hampshire countryside, and from there a short ride by cab to the hotel. Andrea (our nanny) watched the kids until our return during early afternoon the next day.  Everyone had a good time. Short but very sweet.

Back in London, I must say that it finally feels like we're finding our rhythm. Everyone's healthy, Karen's starting classes soon (more to come on that) and kids are doing well. Actually Sadie is still 2 year old for a few more months and it shows; she's become harder work lately -- lots of crazy energy, a surge of attitude and defiance after several more agreeable months. But hilarious, incredibly verbal and most of the time lots of fun. She's slowly making progress in potty training and it feels like we're getting closer (an accident-free day today!). Parker is affable, well fed, sleeping like a champ at last, and almost done teething (one eye tooth to go!). So no complaints this week.

Four seasons.

Someone once told me that to truly be secure in a relationship you should spend a full year, or four seasons, getting to know one another. After spending a night away at the Four Seasons in Hampshire with Andrew, eating decadent food, drinking good wine, taking a lovely countryside walk and a late night swim, I can reaffirm that our relationship is secure and I love him deeply. I'm sure he'll have more to add about our weekend jaunt, but I just wanted to try out my new blogging app!
Happy Valentines Day Andrew!




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Location:Hook,United Kingdom

Hangin' around

Not a whole lot to report this week. Which begs the question of why post anything at all... but in honesty I just wanted an excuse to post this picture of little P, taken today in the back yard as I attempted to rake leaves (which consisted of much more throwing kids in the pile than raking). Weather's continued to be quite warm, which has allowed a little exploration of our garden and looking forward to using it as much as we can this summer. Also had a fun time today with Joe Proctor, who came over with his two kids Katya and Will (a few years older than Sadie and very good with her, so she had a blast).  Other highlights of the week were a good 24-hour biz trip to Prague for me (as usual I didn't see much of the city, although I did walk across the scenic Charles Bridge to get to dinner), and a trip to the British museum for Karen. But mostly hangin' around. Parker's in final throes of teething, Sadie's focused on potty training... but all healthy. 

Feeling better

This headline sums up this week's top accomplishment: everyone is feeling a lot better than this time a week ago. Most importantly, Parker turned a corner on Sunday afternoon (as usually happens not long after I take him in to the doc) and by mid-week was back to his old self. Actually quite a bit better than his old self as he seems to be learning at last, at the ripe age of 17 months, to sleep more solidly and consistently than before. This may simply be because Karen & I were so knackered last week that we dusted off the 'cry it out' Ferber method, turned of the baby monitor and just let him holler -- and it seems to have worked.  Hallelujah, may it endure. Sadie's also healthy again, back in school, ballet, etc. Only Karen's not 100% there, still battling a sinus infection, but she's close.

Thus mostly restored we've spent some of our newfound energy trying to get a little more moved into our flat. This meant some purchases from Ikea and eBay, quite a bit of flatpack assembly work for Andrew and Parker (not always the most efficient team), and discussions about curtains and a faux fireplace. So far we have a new TV to show for it --which does not yet work -- as well as new dining room chairs and some toy storage. I wouldn't call it a total transformation but it's feeling a little more lived in.

We even got out a bit over the weekend -- to ballet; two teas with friends (on Saturday, Big Parker and Anna and their 3 daughters; on Sunday, my colleague and neighbor Igor, his wife and 2 kids); and this morning a visit to the Science Museum and walk through Hyde Park in sunny, almost spring-like weather.

Home sweet holidays

Despite the inauspicious way in which we departed, and our rootless, jet-setting movements during the month -- by my count I slept in 10 different cities, a bit fewer for Karen and the kids -- our holiday time in the USA was truly great. We arrived in what was, by all accounts, pretty rough shape. All four of us in varying states of illness and fatigue. Insomnia, laryngitis, nauseau and pinkeye all among reported symptoms. To our good fortune, we were awaited by the welcoming arms of the Howell grandparents, the Ellis sibling/cousins, Punam, Natty, Uncle Buck, Denia, Nadya, Inna and others -- all of whom pitched in to get us back on our feet. Although the jetlag was not exactly easy (Parker had a few very early mornings to start with), by week two we were all pretty adjusted, rested, and on our way to feeling much better.

Click to see more photos of our visit

In all three of our primary locations -- Washington, Buffalo and Maplewood -- we had a great time, filled with family and old friends. DC highlights included: lots of hanging our on 2923 Macomb Street with family, reading of A Child's Christmas in Wales and an improv Christmas pageant, the 'traditional' Christmas steak & egg breakfast, trips around Washington to places like the Botanical Gardens and American Indian Museum, a great evening in Mount Ranier at the Ellises new place, late night Catan-fest on New Year's Eve and a trip down to see the Griscoms in Harrisonburg; in Buffalo: Grandma's 90th birthday, sledding, a visit back to the Drip coffee shop on Elmwood, the amazing Museum of Play in Rochester, buffalo wings, a fabulous weekend in Toronto (Karen can probably add more as I was traveling for part of the week); in Maplewood: time with some of our good friends from the 'hood, a swing by our old red ('reggie') home, and a visitation of the great new drive-through Dunkin Donuts that has recently made it to the neighborhood.

It was a fiendishly complex itinerary, but amazingly it all came together (including my brief criss-crossing of New York-Boston-Minneapolis-Austin-San Francisco for work). By the time the four week visit was up we felt more or less revitalized, renewed, reinvigorated and reconnected  -- with an injection of energy to tackle 2011 in London after what was an encouraging but challenging first few months. We were also looking forward to unpacking our suitcases and getting back to a routine again.

Unfortunately... 2011 in London has not exactly gotten off to any easy start. Indeed it kind of picked up where it left off: struggling with health issues. The main problem has been Parker, who has been sick from the day we flew back from New York a week ago. Started with a stomach bug -- which unfortunately meant not much sleep and lots of vomiting on the slight back -- and in the past few days has morphed into an upper respiratory infection that now has him in really rough shape (and precipitated his 5th trip to the A&E with me this afternoon). Poor little Parker, he has had such a hard time staying healthy these past few months, and we're very worried about him. (As I write I can hear him coughing from his room as he tries to sleep.) On top of this, the week was also complicated by a stomach virus that afflicted Karen, Sadie and Andrea the nanny (oddly, not me) -- passing after a couple of days but also resulting in more missed work, school and disrupted routine. Yuck!

So... we're back in London, optimistic about the coming year but most of all dreaming of getting everyone healthy and back on track. En shallah!